Mary Sheedy Kurcinka Ed.D and Lynn Jessen MA
The boys climb to the top of the slide and come down headfirst. Mom fumes, “They never listen to me! They are so disrespectful.” Then she yells at them, “I told you to stop going down headfirst!” Immediately, she feels terrible because now her sons are not listening to her AND she just yelled at them, even though she promised herself she was not going to do it.
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Being cooperative and successful is a combination of having the skill and having the will. Since Anna has dressed herself in the past and usually does so with little to no prompting when she “can’t dress herself” it’s pretty obvious she’s lacking the will. The question of course is why?
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How do you respond when your child refuses to go upstairs by himself, cries if you attempt to leave him before he’s asleep at bedtime, or doesn’t want to go to an activity you know he will love once he gets there? When a child is experiencing anxiety, he demonstrates it in his behavior. Often that behavior is a vehement protest, but sometimes, it is a complete “shut down,” in which he is incapable of doing things he could do just yesterday. No matter which response, it is tempting to simply avoid the difficult situation, but anxiety increases when situations are avoided. Instead, it is important to gently nudge your child forward, empowering and supporting him to take on this challenge. Your words and actions make a difference.
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“Pick up your shoes.” “Clean your room.” “Put away your toys.” “Set the table.” Whenever, these directives cross your mind, odds are an internal battle begins.
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Begin the Day Taking Care of YOU. Here are 4 Tips for a Peaceful Morning Wake-up
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When your child is losing it, it is easy to get caught in the flames of those challenging behaviors. You take them personally wondering why your child is being so mean, rude or hurtful to you. That’s why it is so important to look for the REAL Fuel Source
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